I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
