He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
