I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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