Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize