he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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