OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
