Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
where are my eyebrows?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
