Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
