I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
