She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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