It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
