I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
