is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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