just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dick very happy bro
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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