I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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