Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
