I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
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It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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