i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
