Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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