how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
