you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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