I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
