and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
