tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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