i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
