You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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