It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
