i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize