In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
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It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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