sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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