I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize