apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We have started to decorate penises.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
