She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
