Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
