me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
