I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
