Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
