My room smells like vodka and shame
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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