I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She's the barista slut.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
