I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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