Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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