If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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