Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
