out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
