i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
