I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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