oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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