Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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