ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
