Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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