I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
