Just took my morning after pill in the library
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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