its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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